I have a confession. There was a time when I was obsessed with eating. I ate every meal like I had not eaten in days, like it were my last meal on Earth. I always overate, and never cared if what I ate was good for my health.

Then one day I visited a Gastroenterologist for a quiet but recurring discomfort I was facing in my right abdomen for months. Test results came out, and the doctor informed me of a fatty liver and early-stage Fibrosis. The doctor said, "Make some lifestyle changes. Start exercising, take fewer carbs and more protein." I nodded but internally wondered, "What do carbs and protein even mean?"

When I researched, I realised the magnitude of mindset and lifestyle changes needed to reclaim my health. The next 24 months were humbling, transformative, and changed my understanding of food forever.

During my journey, I studied different perspectives around food and diet: psychology, philosophy, spirituality and different religions. I observed others around me: the active ones, the lazy ones, the ones evolved and the ones consumed. I went deep within myself to understand and recalibrate my relationship with food: my mindset, my triggers, and my priorities.

This time of my life gave me an understanding of certain truths about food that redefined my relationship with it. And after years of thinking, observing, and self-dialogue, this is what I know for sure:

Our diet shapes our energy, mood, and mind:

When we overeat or eat overly spicy food, we become lethargic, drowsy and sometimes sleepy. The body and mind have to divert all attention to our overburdened stomachs. Sometimes bloating, burps and farts follow. We think it is fine, we are digesting, but in reality we are depleting our energy reserves and affecting our organs. But when we fast for 16, 24 or even 48 hours, our energy reserves accumulate instead of depleting with every meal. That energy radiates through our skin, uplifts our moods and illuminates our soul. The realisation of this relationship can change how we see food and what we choose to eat.

We don't control food, food controls us:

We do know how to create systems. We research diets, order groceries in advance, prep meals and store them. We download apps, track calories and set up reminders. We follow the diet, the apps are working and life is going well. Then one evening, stuck at work with a pressing deadline and hunger setting in, a burrito feels like the only reasonable option. A hectic week, and a pizza sounds nice on a Saturday evening. Soon, without notice, we are back to our old patterns of unhealthy eating. We try again with better systems and improved focus, but in time we fail again. This circle of plan, implement, fail and then plan again stays with us all our lives.

The systems were never really the problem. The real gap was in our understanding of our relationship with food. We believe that food satisfies our physical needs, but in reality food is an emotional requirement. If we observe closely, we would find that we almost always prioritise flavours over health benefits and that flavour significantly uplifts our moods. Even our social gatherings have food at the centre of them. This is why a lot of what we eat is based on impulse or emotion. And something tied so deeply to our emotional world cannot be tamed by systems alone. We need a deeper connection with our minds and soul to alter our relationship with food. That connection only comes through self-awareness and honest inner reflection.

Food is not just a gift, it is a test:

Food is a blessing that only we mortal beings get to cherish, but it is also our biggest test. If God is really there, then sugar must be his most beautiful creation. The desserts we consume surely connect us to the divine. But sugar is also the worst thing that we can consume. What an irony. Sugar is like that apple in Eve's garden, the one you want but cannot have. And this contradiction exists in all the things we eat. We would love to have pizzas and burgers every meal but the boring salad is the right health choice. We would like to drink sodas, have alcohol or smoke whenever we wish, but that is precisely what we need to avoid for a healthy life. Food is the most challenging hurdle in the game of life.

Food connects us to our higher self:

Our gut, mind and soul are not separate systems. They operate as one. What we put into our bodies affects not just our physical health but our mental clarity, our emotional stability and our capacity for deeper thought and reflection. Every serious spiritual tradition understood this. Whether it was the Yogic emphasis on sattvic food, the Islamic practice of fasting during Ramadan, the Buddhist mindfulness around eating, or the ancient Ayurvedic understanding of food as medicine. Across all these traditions, the connection between what we consume and how clearly we think and feel has always been recognised by those who sought a deeper life.

When the body is heavy, the mind is heavy. When the gut is inflamed, the emotions are inflamed. When we eat with awareness, our mind gets lighter and our emotions become balanced. Gradually, we become calmer and more present. We react less and observe more. We focus on ourselves, our strengths, our faults and our growth. We are able to access inner strength that we did not know existed.

My journey has taught me a lot about my relationship with food. I know now that so much of how we rise or fall begins with food. I see food in a very different light now, not as flavour, but as the energy it carries. I see it as a blessing and an examination, with quiet admiration for the contradiction it represents. I see it as my biggest pleasure but also my mightiest foe.